I've got to the point where I have been without food for so long, that those bodily functions which I can normally take for granted, have begun to fail me.
I don't think I can carry on for much longer before my health will be seriously impacted.
I can tell that it must be serious as even my Owners have started to notice:
"Is it me or does it smell differently in here?"
"Yes, Jakey hasn't farted for ages. Must be related to his new diet."
"Great - We'll save a small fortune on scented candles."
My worst fears are confirmed - I'm losing my Beagleness.
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